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WHAT'S HAPPENING

Auntie Svetty’s Astrological and Life Advice for 2024: My Most Depressing Column Ever.


I’ve had trouble bringing myself to write this column. I am burned out. I want to numb out. I want my life to be more simple. I am an astrologer not an astro-physicist and that speaks something to the level of my intelligence. I do not have answers; I have advice. What good is this advice? Is prediction useful? Life is always going to be a paradox. Life is always going to be a struggle. The planet and society are most definitely at a crossroads. You don’t need me to tell you that. You’ve been living it. What do the stars and planets have to say about the future of the year to come? My friend, I have not been able to bring myself to tell you.


Could someone pass the mind-numbing drugs please? I have nothing pleasant to tell you about how the outer planets are aligning. I have nothing pleasant to tell you about how the inner planets are aligning. I’m sure there will be some pleasant moments in 2024, but there is every sign that the current empire is falling. It is not going to be aesthetic. There is every sign that there will be a rise in fanaticism. There is every sign that our future includes a lack of humanity. There is every sign that our future includes more limited freedoms by the systems that govern us.


You do have agency as an individual, at least for now. Freedom is a practice, not a destination. Things are uncertain, but also as yet undecided. Be part of your own rescue. Recognize how technology brings us the ability to be both more and less connected to humanity. Recognize how the systems that govern us also control and monitor these technological systems. Do not let convenience replace your ability to connect with others and build community. What is reality? Can we agree on what is real? We must use our hearts as much as our minds and be centered in our humanity or we are lost as individuals and as a society. We are living through a time of transformational liberation and destruction of old systems. Not everyone wants what you or I want. We can’t even agree where we are going. We can’t even agree these days on what reality is!


My advice for the year ahead is to take small steps. Be the person you want to be. Show kindness to others. A major medical breakthrough is coming in April. The rest of the astrological weather coming this year is pretty terrible. Major outer planets activate anxiety and the affect is humans becoming more and more inclined to cultish religiosity. The 2024 presidential election looks bad. Many psychics are predicting that Joe Biden will have a health scare just prior to the election. Gavin Newsom and Elizabeth Warren will scramble to create a last minute second choice. I see internment camps in my very homosexual future. It doesn’t astrologically look like anything I want to talk about more. I wish I was an astro-physicist instead. I am not.


The way we create a better future on this earth is by evolving the way we show kindness and understanding to others so that we become agents of peace in the world. Can you imagine an astro-physicist telling you that? I can’t. Do I think people are going to do this? No, I’m an astrologist and a psychic, but I’m also a realist. Is this what we need to do? Yes! We need to do this for all people we encounter, not just the ones we agree with. WE HAVE TO MAKE ROOM FOR EVERYONE!!! Are people going to take the time to work on their spiritual selves? I doubt it. How do we even do it? Somewhere beyond your emotions and your psychology is your spiritual self. We aren’t asked to access our spiritual selves very often. It’s counter-productive to capitalistic consumerism to have citizens reflect on the meaning of life and what kind of world they want to live in. If we don’t evolve spiritually, humankind is going extinct. This is reality as I see it... Do you see it too? I have little else to say on the matter so I’ll be writing this column less. Girl, you don’t need all this doom and gloom! Boy, you don’t either. Perhaps an astro-physicist will step up to the plate and help. I’m fresh out of advice for now. I do realize I am telling you the sky is falling. It is, especially if you are non-binary in gender. MMmhmmm... Society will collapse by 2026. Sorry about it. I have no idea how to help Palestinians or trans people or how to give women their bodily autonomy back. Maybe voting would work? Astrologically, it doesn’t look like most of you will bother to show up.


I need life to be more simple. I am exhausted. Capitalism is winning even as it collapses. I collapse as well. One thing I hope the world says about my writing after I’m gone: “She sure didn’t blow sunshine up our asses. She told us the truth.” That’s that: If you don’t want to take responsibility on a spiritual level for yourself then get back to whatever is numbing you. Good Luck. I’ll be back when I have something more positive to say - it may be awhile. You don’t even want to know what Pluto is doing right now, okay? You don’t. Until better astrological days!


Your very burned-out, numbed-out,

Auntie Svetty


I love you!


(Being a psychic astrologer is hard, but so is everything! Including just existing!)

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