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Auntie Svetty’s Astrological and Life Advice: Good news incoming!

Good news incoming! There’s an end to all this chaotic nonsensical energy. We have been living almost an entire month with Mercury in retrograde. Mercury went retrograde on April Fool’s Day, 2024 and will not go direct until April 29th, 2024. An entire month of retrograde! If your electronics are going crazy, and you can’t make a decision to save your life, and the way other people are communicating makes no sense at all - and you keep not having all the information you need, and secrets keep getting revealed anyway: there is not only an end to all this, but a delightful one! How to even make sense of double eclipses in the same month? One lunar, on a super moon, and then a full solar eclipse in Aries just weeks later? Do we have a new intergalactic leader to our government? Does the world even exist any more? I write these words on April 5, 2024… I am not completely certain when they will post, but after the solar eclipse on the 8th and at least a week or two after that… How foolish will these words seem? I can’t make these words reach the world on my own. I can hardly send an email. I have help and her name is Lyndsay. She is vacationing where there is no internet. She should come home soon if she doesn’t want me to start writing fictional adventures about her.  


If I were to write fictional stories about Lyndsay they would include a magical portal in her little secret library. Where would Lyndsay go if she pulled just the right book and the bookcase began to spin and transport her to another dimension? She really should have waited until April 29th to go on vacation when Venus enters Taurus. I worry her trip has been full of unpleasant surprises and revelations she wasn’t sure how to deal with. Perhaps she will consider going away again when Venus is in Taurus. The Venus in Taurus transit has been compared to a Botticelli painting. Venus is the planet of love and beauty. Venus rules both Taurus and Libra. Venus in Taurus brings beautiful scenery, luxurious items, and tactile delights. Enjoyment! Enjoyment! Enjoyment! Until May 23rd!!! 

After such a rough month it is time to slow down, indulge your senses. Add a third lover to the mix if your relationship can handle it. It’s time for some hedonism after all the stress and unpredictability of eclipse season. I actually have no idea where Lyndsay went, but honestly, she and you need to get out of town again. Do it on the 29th of April or anytime in May before the 23rd when Venus enters Gemini. It’s time to get hot and heavy. If not with the one you’re with, with someone new; or if you’ve been having trouble with your long term partner, Venus in Taurus is the time to mend things and reignite the flame. Listen, none of us know how to deal with whatever happened / is happening in April. Put it behind you. Enjoy May. Almost all of May is smooth sailing. Perhaps because the hardships of April shed light on what we still have, perhaps because we almost or did lose things precious to us. May is mostly luscious and enjoyable. Go get some!  Slow down and breathe in the marrow of life. We are still alive and the world is beautiful around us. You are beautiful and worthy of love.  

I have spent some time thinking about my role in the fanaticism around the eclipse. If you’re reading these words - you made it. May is the reward. Dig in. Celebrate. Has Trump fallen? Are the people in Salem, Texas okay? Listen, if you made it this far you’re doing something right.   

Auntie Svetty loves you. We are fine. Everything is fine. Big Opportunities keep opening and shutting but we are fine. Or dead? I am so sorry if these words are inappropriate. I blame Lyndsay for going on vacation too soon. I leave on the 29th for mine and you should too!  

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