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Auntie Svetty's Astrology & Life Advice for October 22 - 29

I’ve been taking very good care of myself. You should see how disgusting my lunch is. Puréed vegetable mash with turmeric and added fiber with broccoli chunks big enough to choke a horse. Likely the next 6 months revealed itself to you on or around the solar eclipse on the 14th. If the path ahead isn’t clear, there’s likely a planet or hunk of asteroid in the sky that hates you and is trying to ruin your life. Maybe Elon Musk or Marjorie Taylor Greene have a laser you could borrow to BLAST THAT OBSTACLE OUT OF THE SKY!!!!

Let’s get to the transits and what they mean: on October 22nd there is a planetary ingress as Mercury enters Scorpio. This is a great time to research the unknown or maybe talk to the dead. Scorpio energy keeps us intensely focused on our work. Our thoughts are profound. There is no time for superficial conversation. Cut to the heart of the matter. Mean it or don’t say it. Get on task. Stay on task.

Compare this to last week when Libra energy had you looking for reasonable solutions. This week the tendency is more obsessive and severe. If Mercury was in Libra I might add a salad to my balanced meal and then take a walk, but Mercury in Scorpio has me obsessed with pulverizing and mashing all my drinks into health shakes that I guzzle on the treadmill while lifting weights. Where are you placing your hyper-focused intensity? Your job? Your relationship? I Hope you’re directing this obsessive energy where it is constructive. I can hardly wait til this passes so I can order a club sandwich and fries, maybe a milkshake too. Okay! Back to work! I’m gonna slam this collagen and wheat grass smoothie and get back to doing push ups! See you next week when I’m thin and my muscles are bulging out of this top!

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