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WHAT'S HAPPENING

Auntie Svetty’s Astrological and Life Advice for 11/26 - 12/2



Astrologically there are a lot of signs that your Thanksgiving was terrible. Since this advice will be published after Thanksgiving telling you why the planets are to blame for your rotten family get-together is about as useful as posting my mother’s cranberry sauce recipe for you today now that Thanksgiving is over. I will do that despite its uselessness: Purchase canned cranberry sauce. Open can. Shake open can until jar of congealed jellied cranberries slurps onto plate: Serve room temperature on a dish with a butter knife or spoon. Perhaps you can use this recipe next year?


I adore my mother. Her cooking, not so much, but who am I to compete with the cranberry sauce she brings year after year? I keep my mouth shut. I scoop some turkey onto my plate and a chunk of congealed cranberries too. When my mouth is full of chewy food it isn’t starting arguments. I don’t have to enjoy the food to shut up and swallow it. I’ve experienced enough food insecurity in my life to just be grateful there’s something to eat.


Enough with the past and with national holidays celebrating colonialism! Let’s get to the transits before that cranberry sauce comes back up again.


On Nov 25th Ceres enters Sagittarius as we sleep and Saturn in Pisces forms a semi-square to Chiron in Aries. There is a full moon in Gemini on Nov 27th.


Ceres is a dwarf planet in the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter. It was the first asteroid ever discovered. Giuseppe Piazzi announced it was a planet in 1801 when he proudly identified its existence from the Palermo Astronomical Observatory in Sicily. More mashed potatoes, Cere’s? You look so small.


Ceres was considered a planet for awhile, then demoted to an asteroid, and then later classified as a dwarf planet. Ceres is the only dwarf planet always inside Neptune’s orbit. Why isn’t it considered a moon? The hell if I know any more than I know why I still have to sit at the kiddie table. Call me whatever you want, the conversation is much less stressful over here and we are all feeding our cranberry sauce to the dog.


Ceres is a really cool astronomical body whatever you want to call it. The NASA spacecraft Dawn approached Ceres in 2015 and found it to be thirty percent ice by volume. Ceres is the closest known cryovolcanic body to the sun and contains a potential habitat for microbial life.


Ceres isn’t bright enough to see with the naked eye. Your uncle that loves Trump isn’t very bright either, but he still gets invited to Thanksgiving. Another reason the kiddie table is still so great to sit at is that you don’t have to make conversation with your uncle over there.


Like the dwarf planet Ceres you may have felt overlooked at the Thanksgiving table. The important thing is that you see your potential for harboring new life. You know you’re a planet. Who cares what your uncle thinks! Try not to look at him with gravy all over his face. Yech!


The Moon is full in Gemini on Nov 27th. The holiday is behind us. Five days before and after the full moon we are affected by its energy. You skeptics can shut up. The Moon creates the ocean tides and humans are more than two-thirds water. Gemini governs communication and asks us to speak our truth. Well, shit. That’s why you couldn’t just keep your head down and enjoy the kiddie table, but it’s also why your Trump-loving uncle couldn’t stop speaking his truth either. You’re both likely still upset and speaking it. You’ll both quiet down around Dec 2nd. Chatty Gemini Full Moon the week of Thanksgiving! Christ on a cracker! What did you think would happen? Seriously, just because he’s your uncle doesn’t mean you have to keep inviting him. A Nazi is a Nazi and seriously, if you voted for Trump you’re as disgusting as my Mother’s cranberry sauce.


Let’s not forget to talk about Chiron in Aries forming a semi-square to Saturn in Pisces. Chiron is another astronomical object who’s identity is under debate. Is Chiron an asteroid? A comet? A minor planet?


Obviously Chiron is a wise and kind centaur! Most centaurs were violent and savage, but Chiron had a vast knowledge of medicine he shared with Achilles. Think of Chiron as the guest at your Thanksgiving table who wouldn’t shut up about why you shouldn’t have let the government give you that vaccine you already took. Chiron is probably right, but you already made that choice. Maybe this guest at your table can direct you to some alternative medicine to help you heal from the vaccine? Your employer forced you to take it! You didn’t want to lose your job! With Saturn (Daddy discipline) in dreamy Pisces, it’s unlikely the authoritative figure at your table was present enough to make any effort to keep the peace. My Dad is dead.


Well, that’s why the Thanksgiving holiday was awful and now you know why relations with relatives remain awful days later.


Auntie Svetty loves you and apologizes for not warning you that Thanksgiving was doomed. Sooner or later we’ll finish destroying this planet. Your uncle and the rest of the climate deniers will be destroyed too. Auntie Chiron won’t be saved by her herbal tea remedy either, but it’s probably delicious. I’m sorry you had to spend time with your family. At least you don't have to do it again ‘til Christmas!


I actually had this advice ready for you as early as the Monday before Thanksgiving, but you know why I didn’t share it? This blog posts on Sundays and I just posted yesterday. Did you really need me to tell you Thanksgiving would be awful? You didn’t know that on your own ??? Thanksgiving has been dangerous for a while now! You’re the one who keeps inviting that Nazi uncle!


Listen, do you need advice on other areas of your life that are falling apart? You can write to me! Email me! SvetlanaTrantastic@gmail.com - Please put “help me, Svetty” in the subject line so I know it isn’t spam. I love you. I’m waiting to hear from you. I’m full of advice! Just ask me!

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