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WHAT'S HAPPENING

Auntie Svetty’s Astrological and Life Advice for Sunday, May 12, 2024



As you know we have been living inside a Botticelli painting since the end of April. We have ten more days of it so suck up the lush scenery, the beautiful naked girls, and all the delicious fruit you can eat. Oh look! Venus is being born! I really enjoy this painting. Events happening May 15th and 16th can be read about in last week’s blog. I am trying to prepare you for the future here. Is anyone else in your life trying to do that? You’re welcome. 


May 15 – 1:36 am – Ceres Retrograde

May 15 – 7:48 am – First Quarter Moon

May 15 – 1:05 pm – Mercury enters Taurus

May 16 – 1:32 pm – Pallas Rx enters Scorpio

May 20 – 8:59 am – Sun enters Gemini

May 23 – 9:53 am – Full Moon in Sagittarius

May 23 – 4:30 pm – Venus enters Gemini


On May 20th, Gemini season begins, there’s a full moon in Sagittarius on the 23rd and Venus enters Gemini. Life in the Botticelli painting is coming to a close. Suddenly I wonder if I should make an appointment with my doctor to find out if I’m schizophrenic. Gemini season is here! Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac. Egyptian astrology shows Gemini as a pair of goats whereas Arabian astrology shows Gemini as a pair of peacocks. Geminis are playful and intellectual, the social butterflies of the zodiac. They are rarely two-faced, that is a farce. Gemini is instead a sign in touch with the duality of their nature, of all natures. Geminis are peaceful because they see things from multiple perspectives. Geminis tend to see both sides of all things and maybe even a third side and a fourth side. Geminis are so multi-faceted, they had to clone themselves.    


If you’re not a Gemini, this is a good season to see if you can broaden your mind or see things from a different point of view as Geminis do. I just tried to see things from the view point of a Trump supporter and I still think every one of those people is a white-supremacist asshole. There is no guarantee that trying will work for you, especially if you aren’t a Gemini. I only see things my way, perhaps because I’m a Leo… or maybe because Trump supporters are white supremacist assholes and that’s just the only truth to it. Let me try again…….. nope, he should be in prison.  


On May 23rd there will be a full moon in Sagittarius. Prepare to be overwhelmed with ideas. Focusing on long-term goals will help you sort things out. Sagittarius is a free spirit. and this energy is affecting all of us. This full moon wants you to be wild and free. It’s time to sew your wild oats. Don’t take it easy. It’s time to run free, make a mistake, have a good time. There’s always time for regrets later. Do the thing now! Indulge. Sometimes I tell you the energy isn’t right for drugs… the energy is right for drugs. Have a good time. Don’t hold back. For legal purposes, we take this statement back. Please refrain from drugs and breaking the law. Control yourself. (Do whatever you want!)


Venus also enters Gemini on May 23rd. Venus is in Gemini from May 23rd to June 17th, 2024. Variety is now the spice of life. Take on a second or third lover if you are allowed. We are most attracted to mentally interesting people at this time. Buffoons like Donald Trump are easily forgotten about and not attractive at all. Melania is likely in someone else’s bed trying to forget him as his legal troubles compound. You should forget him too. He is garbage. I’m sorry I brought him up. Just one month before a major health issue takes him out. A glass casket and tour through the Malls of America await him. His grifting children will charge $25 a head to say goodbye to the former criminal president at malls across the nation. Enjoy Hell, Donald! You deserve it! 


You are not Donald Trump. You get to continue enjoying this marvelous spring. Donald’s karma is not for you. That fate is uniquely his own. He earned it. Things are happy for you. Things are good. All astrological signs point to you deeply enjoying the fuck out of May and the beginning of June. Keep on rocking! We will all be celebrating and rejoicing when the head of the snake is cut off soon. Yes, another head will pop up, but for now, our hearts are light and new love and friendships surround us with playful, loving energy. Spring is here and full of delightful distraction. Enjoy! Enjoy! Auntie Svetty loves you! 


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