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WHAT'S HAPPENING

Why isn’t Donald Trump dead yet? Auntie Svetty’s Astrological and Life Advice for Sunday, June 23, 2024

Updated: Jun 30



Jun 21 – 9:08 pm – Full Moon in Capricorn

Jun 28 – 5:53 pm – Last Quarter Moon

Jun 29 – 3:06 pm – Saturn Retrograde


The Full Strawberry Moon arrived Sunday, June 22nd, 2024. Moon cycles preceded standardized English calendars. New Moons are the start of new emotional cycles and full moons are the culmination of those emotional cycles. The moon moves so quickly around the sun that it passes through every zodiac cycle during the month. We slap a prize ribbon on the zodiac sign the moon is full in. This month of June, the moon is full in the sign of Capricorn. Capricorn was an unnamed section of the zodiac for billions of years before it was named Capricorn, and for billions of years prior to us collectively calling this particular thirty day period of late spring “June”  instead of Cancer season. So, the sun is in Cancer and the moon is full in Capricorn and we call that June 22nd, 2024 now instead of saying it’s the day when the sun is in Cancer and the moon is full in Capricorn.   We call that progress. June 22, 2024 is just a day. June 23, 2024 is the day after the Sun was in Cancer and the moon was full yesterday in Capricorn but now the moon is waning. See how that works?        


It is Cancer Season: It started June 20th, when the Sun entered Cancer. The Solstice occurred on the Full Moon on the 21st. It is summer now. Is it progress that we have moved away from keeping time in a way that marks the turn of seasons with the changing moon cycles in favor of names with numbers? Using numbers of Astrological Seasons instead that mark the year and months and days? Is it even true to say that we have done this? Yes! Astrology birthed our calendar system. By tracking the stars, we track our place in time and space. You can call June whatever you want. If time is real then Astrology is real or you could say that Astrology is as real as time. Is time real? If no-one has a timepiece when is it two o’ clock? How do I meet you there? How do we know it is 2PM without a time piece? What cardinal direction should the shadows point toward what angle to the sun when we meet up? How will you know when I am late without a timepiece? What cardinal direction will the shadows of the trees point when I am late?   


You are nothing without Astrology. You don’t even know what time it is and time isn’t even real! Well it is time for the Sun to be in Cancer and the Moon to be full in Capricorn, so let’s get to it. When the Sun is in Cancer we feel more nurturing toward others. It is easier to be compassionate for humankind. What time is it? Time for you to notice that the angle of those trees has changed while we waited. I don’t think your friend is coming. Do you know what time it is? Time for you to realize that Astrology is the only real thing about time which is otherwise just a myth we created to mark the passage of our lives during our limited short experience on this planet. Do you think it was a coincidence we happened to be born at the same time as each other so as to experience this life together? At this place in space and time? Together???!!!! Now???!!!! An Accident??!!!   


Science: I’ve got nothing nothing against it. Spirit:   I’ve no reason to doubt it. If Science and Spirit both be true then possibilities are limitless and also forever mysterious. Why would you want it any other way?    


Capricorn is a magical goat with a fish tail currently in charge of our emotions. Capricorn is practical, as magical goats with fish tails obviously are. What does is mean to you that a magical goat with a fish tail is the master of your emotions at this time? If the energy of Capricorn is affecting this moon cycle for all of us during the kick off of this season of Cancer, what does that mean for humanity? Why should you reflect on it?  


First off, why shouldn’t you reflect on it?What are you so busy doing anyway that you’ve got to rush down the street because it’s June 22nd or June 23rd and somewhere on earth it’s 2pm? You don’t even know if time is real and what is 2pm anyway? Capricorn can swim there or jump up a mountain faster that you can even guess which direction is North. Your friend isn’t waiting for you anymore. You are late and not even standing on the right mountain. Nobody cares what time it is. They’re not sure you’re coming. Nobody is waiting if 2PM doesn’t exist in the first place. 


Did Donald Trump die? I predicted a major health event for him around the 20th of June. I told you to use your witchcraft to help make it happen. Did you do it? Did you send him away with your magic? If he’s dead, you did it, not me! You are a powerful witch. It must have been when you envisioned energetically grabbing his heart and squeezing it or do you think it was when you astrally projected yourself on top of him and dug your nails into the frontal lobe of his brain? I saw you screaming like a banshee in my dreams and doing this. Good job for doing that. I know it wasn’t easy for you to sit on his chest like that impacting his breathing while you clung to his brain and screamed at his soul to get out of his meat sack. Thank you for trying. I’ve been doing this too. Shhhhh! Some people don’t like to talk about it.  


Inter-dimensional Beings whisper the future to me sometimes in dreams, or did I fall asleep to Susan Lynn Psychic Medium again? We see Trump’s body in a glass coffin. The children continue Daddy’s grift at the Mall of America. For $25 you can say goodbye to former president number forty-five. You can stand ten feet from his body and wave goodbye and wipe your tears or try to spit on him. I suggest spitting. Security guards are not going to let you get closer. Listen, it’s just the meat-sack he was in that you can visit and say goodbye to: that evil soul…….   I’m sorry to say……….  cycles back into something………….    It lingers sour and dark and smoky. It smells like the most horrific fart imaginable. You must create a protective white light around yourself and those you love. A powerful wind whooshes and swirls around you. A gush of light and stars and love swirl about you in protection and love. None of the black smoke that is Donald Trump’s evil soul can get near you.  You and your magic are too powerful.  


I promise you the body of 45 will be dragged across the country by the grieving brats he fathered. They drag his body postmortem around the country and put dead daddy on display for profit, their own. This has been foreseen. Grifting is the legacy he taught them. Grifting is the only legacy he ever had to offer anyone. 

 

Time, though. Is time real? No. Only the way we mark it is real. Do you think the inter-dimensional beings might have lied to me while I was dreaming? Do the inter-dimensional beings know what time is? Do they know it is Cancer Season? Do they know what Cancer season is? Are they affected by it emotionally? Do they know it is time to send Donald Trump to the Big McDonald's  in the sky? IT IS TIME TO SEND Donald Trump TO THE BIG MCDONALD'S IN THE SKY!!!! Did the compassionate vibes of Cancer Season affect the inter-dimensional beings the same way it has affected me? Did they change their minds? Did they change timelines on me? This is me being sympathetic during Cancer Season to Donald Trump. I am over it. This is as sympathetic as I get. Tonight in your dreams try standing both feet on his throat while you yank his brain out of his skull and then light it on fire. Don’t forget gasoline and matches.  


Suddenly I feel foolish for believing a magical goat with a mermaid tail was affecting my lunar emotional cycle during Crabby Cancer Sun Season. If Donald Trump didn’t have a major health event on or around June 20th, 2024…  is Astrology real? Is anything real? Am I real? Are my predictions just hopeful wishes? Spells cast on dandelions that have gone to seed? The man is a rapist. Karmageddon is coming for him. I will not apologize for wishing him and his influence away.  



Auntie Svetty loves you. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you do realize this is an advice column, right? You could write in like with a question or something? Just because I’m completely unhinged sometimes doesn’t mean I might not have a good piece of advice on something. Certainly your marriage has problems you would like to have published in this blog? Email the smuttiest details of your life  to svetlanatrantastic@gmail.com and I’ll make them public. Use a pseudonym if you need to. Put “astrology blog” in the subject line so I know it isn’t spam. I’m starting to think you  don’t want my advice on account of you thinking I’m emotionally unstable or weird or something. What the hell is wrong with you? Get back to your witchcraft. Go visualize yourself sticking a pitchfork in DT’s face and pulling his brain right out of his skull. The reason he isn’t dead yet might be because time isn’t real, not because I was wrong. Ask that mermaid goat for help if you’re so smart and don’t need my advice. He’s in charge of the moon all month, but what is a month to him if time isn’t real for mermaid goats? Hmmm? Who is going to help you then???? I’ll be back next week whether or not you want me. Will the mermaid goat? If time isn’t real does next week even end or begin on June 30th? How the hell do mermaid goats know what month it is? 


Sample Question: Dear Auntie Svetty, Why isn’t DT dead yet?  


Answer: He is dead, but time is not real.   


PS: I told you so. You’re welcome. Keep up the witchcraft. It’s working. In the future he is already gone and the future is just this present moment, but at a later point in time that isn’t real. We all have to die someday and DT’s day is coming just like yours and mine but sooner. For Christ’s sake he’s 78 years old and eats McDonald’s every day. He can’t last that much longer. Keep up the good work. I’m proud of you. Try imagining a whole burger stuck in his throat. He’s choking on it and no-one is around to help him.

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mermaid goats yes mermaid goats hahaha

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